A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool and show who was boss on the aviation frequencies. So, this was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime.
Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?"

The controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where!"

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AFRAID OF THE DENTIST

A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill.
"I'm shocked!" she complained. "This is three times what you normally charge."

"Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other patients."

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The Story of the Three Bears

It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up.
Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table.
He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair.
He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.
Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells,
"For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this?

It was Mummy Bear who got up first.
It was Mummy Bear who woke everybody else in the house up.
It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away.
It was Mummy Bear who went out into the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper.
It was Mummy Bear who set the table.
It was Mummy Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box and filled the cat's water food dish.

And now that you've decided to come down stairs and grace me with your presence....
listen good because I'm only going to say this one more time......

I haven't made the porridge yet!!