KFC


A man walked into a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant in Jamaica and passed out on the floor.
People gathered around to help him by fanning and doing everything they could to help him regain consciousness.
Someone peeled an orange and started squeezing the juice into his mouth,
whereupon the man suddenly came back to life, pushed the person away and yelled,
"if me did want orange, me woulda fall down in a de market."

Preacher's donkey

A man bought a donkey from a preacher.
The preacher told the man that this donkey had been trained in a very unique way,
(being the donkey of a preacher). The only way to make the donkey go, is to say, "Hallelujah!"
The only way to make the donkey stop, is to say, "Amen!"
The man was pleased with his purchase and immediately got on the animal
to try out the preacher's instructions. "Hallelujah!" shouted the man.
The donkey began to trot. "Amen!" shouted the man. The donkey stopped immediately.
"This is great!" said the man. With a "Hallelujah", he rode off very proud of his new purchase.
The man traveled for a long time through some mountains. Soon he was heading towards a cliff.
He could not remember the word to make the donkey stop.
"Stop," said the man. "Halt!" he cried. The donkey just kept going. "Oh, no...'Bible...Church!...
Please Stop!!," shouted the man.
The donkey just began to trot faster. He was getting closer and closer to the cliff edge.


Finally, in desperation, the man said a prayer..."Please, dear Lord.
Please make this donkey stop before I go off the end of this mountain,
In Jesus name, AMEN."
The donkey came to an abrupt stop just one step from the edge of the cliff.
"HALLELUJAH!", shouted the man.

Cannibal

The cannibal went to the witch doctor complaining of an upset stomach after eating his last meal.
The witch doctor queried him about what he had eaten.
The cannibal replied, "I had one of those guys who wears a hooded robe with a knotted rope down the side, and he was carrying a rosary."
"Well how did you cook him?" the witch doctor asked.
"I boiled him." he replied.
"Well, that's your problem, you prepared him all wrong." said the witch doctor,
"You should have known he was a friar!"

Toilet paper


Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror,
complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling her that it's not so,
the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece
of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper
and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
"How long will this take?" she asks. "They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.
The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will
make my breasts grow over the years?"

"Worked for your butt, didn't it?"
He lived, and with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again!