IDIOTS IN SERVICE

 
 This week, all our phones went dead and I had to call the phone repair people.
 They promised to be out  between 8 a.m. and 7 p.m.
When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, he asked and I quote,
 "Would you like us to call before we come?" He also requested that we report future outages by email.
 Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?
 
 IDIOTS AT WORK

I was signing the receipt for my credit card  purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never
signed my name on the back of the credit card.
She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.
When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature
on the credit card with the signature I  just signed on the receipt.
So I signed the credit card in front of her.
She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt.
As luck would have it, they matched.
 
 IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new  neighbor call the local township administrative
 office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing  sign on our road.
The reason: Too many deer were hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.
 
 IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE

 My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a  taco.
She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
 
IDIOTS AT THE AIRPORT

 I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when  the airport employee asked,
"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I said,
"If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
 He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."
 
 IDIOTS ON THE ROAD

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe  to cross the street. I was crossing with an
 intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I  explain that it signals blind people when the light  is red. She responded, appalled "What on earth are
blind people doing driving?"

IDIOTS IN MANAGEMENT
At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker
who is leaving the company due to "downsizing" our
manager spoke up and said, "This is fun. We should
have lunch like this more often." Not another word
was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer
staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.

IDIOTS WITH COMPUTERS
I worked with an individual who plugged her power
strip back into itself and for the life of her, could
not understand why her system would not turn on.

IDIOTS IN GENERAL
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the
keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to
the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I
watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively
tried the door handle and discovered it was open.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open."
The young man answered, "I already got that side."

***** There, now don't you feel better? ****