REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS HARD TO LEARN

1) A bandage was wound around a wound.

2) A farm is used to produce produce.

3) A dump can be so full that it has to refuse more refuse.

4) We may polish Polish furniture, if we have some.

5) A leader could lead if he/she could get the lead out.

6) A soldier can decide to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, it could be a good time

to present the present.

8) A bass could be painted on the head of a bass drum.

9) Yesterday when shot at, a dove dove into the bushes.

10) We can object to an object.

11) Insurance can be invalid for the invalid.

12) There can be a row among oarsmen about how to row.

13) One can be too close to the door to close it.

14) A buck can do funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer can fall down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer could teach his sow to help

him sow.

17) The wind could be too strong to wind a kite string.

18) After a number of injections a jaw would get number.

19) Upon seeing a tear in a painting, you could shed a tear.

20) You could subject a subject to a series of tests.

21) You could intimate something to your most intimate friends and

they would understand.

Let''s face it; English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant

nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries

in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet,

are meat.

We take English for granted. If we explore its paradoxes, we find

that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig

is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

Why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce,

and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, many geese, so, one moose, more meese? What about one index,

two indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but can't make one amend,

and that you can comb through the annals of history, but can't look

through one annal?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one, what do

you call that item?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats

vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Maybe all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the

verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital, ship by truck and send cargo by ship, have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a

wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a

few are similar?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they

are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown?

Have you met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run

into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly, couth, or peccable?

Where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY

hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house

can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it

out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the

creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).

That is why, at night when the stars are out, they are visible, however,

when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Why, when I wind up my watch, do I start it, but when I wind up a letter,

I end it?