Some of the things people put on there machines
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of
those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.
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Hi. This is John: If you are the phone
company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents,
please send money. If you are my financial
aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
"Hi. Now you say something."
"Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"
(From Japanese friend) He-lo! This is Sa-to.
If you leave message, I call you soon.
If you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!
"Hi! John's answering machine is broken.
This is his refrigerator.
Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick
your message to myself with one of these magnets."
My owners do not need siding, windows, or
a hot tub, and their carpets are clean.
They give to charity through their office
and do not need their picture taken.
If you're still with me, leave your name and
number and they will get back to you."
"This is not an answering machine. This is a telepathic
thought-recording device.
After the tone, think about your name,
your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you,
and I'll think about returning your call."
"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding
someone I don't like.
Leave me a message, and if I don't call
back, it's you."
"If you are a burglar, then we're probably
at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone.
Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe
to leave us a message."
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent.
Everything you say will be recorded and will be
used by us.
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya.
We can't pick up the phone right now,
because we're doing something we really enjoy.
Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like
doing it left to right ... real slowly.
So leave a message, and when we're done
brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
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